Never let anyone tell you you’re not capable or when it’s the end for you.
Because even in the event of your death, you’d had better of left a fucking legacy.
What will you do to ensure that? What will you do to ensure immortality?
Yeah, I purposely set out to write a “Turning 30” blog. But before I had even started, I was feeling more powerless than I had felt in a long time. Insecurity..sensitivity..the things that make me human. Then, in a moment of reflection, I remembered that I’m not just human. I’m a human who took hold of her own power to become an entity; a force.
But before I became a super hero..
I spent a lot of my teens and 20’s trying to find my purpose. One thing I learned is that it’s easy to get caught up in ideals and making plans. Let me tell you from experience (and common sense) to plan your life is to guarantee disappointment. An idealistic perspective will be the death of the quality of your life. Never was there a better feeling than finally letting go of the reins of my life. Though your walk should have purpose, just live.
On my trek to discovering my purpose, I developed weird traits that are both strengths and weaknesses (perception).
A romanticist and an extremist, I’m a callused heart that is still worn on a sleeve to be scraped against the bricks. Do I like that? No. Would I rather be any other way? No. My life has been a constant battle of head vs heart. Ya know, I left someone I was madly in love with because I knew it was the right thing to do? I cried through the entire breakup and took him out for a steak dinner afterwards. I’m ridiculously good at breaking my own heart.
Little did I know that my callused heart was about to work with a callused brain (literally). People often say to me, “You’ve lost over 100 lbs and became an author.. What was the turning point for you?”
Well, this was one of them.
–“What am I supposed to do?“, asked the 275 lb girl sitting on the cold, gray hospital table.
-The neurologist simply responded, “Educate yourself.”
Well through late nights of research, holistic therapies, and loosing 100+lbs, I kicked it’s ass. That’s a bold statement considering I’m “Relapse-Remit”. But as the master and commander of my life, I am also the master and commander of my mind. There was no way in hell I was going to let my brain use me as a puppet. So I learned everything there is to know thus far about the nervous system. Then I went on to educate others. Giving people hope is the most rewarding thing I have ever felt. It also taught me the biggest life lesson I could ever share: With the right mindset, you are more powerful than you could ever imagine.
Though I had just took hold of the reins of my nervous system, I hadn’t quite let go of the set that I should have yet. So there I am. I’m thin, strong, powerful; the perfect human. Then I fell for a sociopath who screamed at me constantly. (I don’t bring this up a lot and I probably won’t again.) The perfect human had allowed herself to be led by her deeply rooted ideals, again. Surely this person with so much charm and promises will lead me to the utopia I’ve always dreamed of.
After about a thousand screaming fits and believing I was in the wrong for his infidelity, things ended.
Oh, in case you need a lesson in what a sociopath is (or think you may be dating one):
There’s still one sociopath I can’t shake my love for, however.
After that brain-fuck, I was in shambles. Sleeping on my pullout and surrounded by fast food bags, I was a sorry sight. Then one day, shortly after the dust settled, I gave myself an ultimatum. That’s where my extremist side comes in handy.
It had occurred to me that although I could control the condition of my mind and body, I couldn’t control the way the wind blew. So I decided to simply.. let go. Kosmic Kasey was about to be realized. With a little help from my friends, I picked up a dream I had shelved long ago: writing. Then things just started happening!
THEN I FOUND MY FAMILY!
THEN I FOUND MY NICHE!
But most importantly,
I found me.
So back to all that talk about purpose and legacy.. I am one to believe that my purpose (so far) was to share this story of triumph with you. Now that I’ve been published and already have other works lined up, I’m immortal. My words will live on. What I hope is that my inspiration will live on in those I’ve been able to share my story with. I hope that it will live on in you.
Just one hour till I’m 30.
I’m breaking through.
I’m bending spoons.
I’m keeping flowers in full bloom.
I’m looking for answers from the great beyond.
–“The Great Beyond”, REM
-Kasey PierceShare This Post:by